Personality Test
George Washington - Guardian Supervisor (ESTJ) Mother Teresa - Guardian Protector (ISFJ) Albert Einstein - Rational Architect (INTP) Margaret Thatcher - Rational Fieldmarshal (ENTJ) Mikhail Gorbachev - Idealist Teacher (ENFJ) Eleanor Roosevelt - Idealist Counselor (INFJ) Elvis Presley - Artisan Performer (ESFP) Jacqueline Onasis - Artisan Composer (ISFP) Dolley Madison - Guardian Provider (ESFJ) Queen Victoria - Guardian Inspector (ISTJ) Walt Disney - Rational Inventor (ENTP) Dwight David Eisenhower - Rational Mastermind (INTJ) Thomas Paine - Idealist Champion (ENFP) Princess Diana - Idealist Healer (INFP) Charles Lindberg - Artisan Crafter (ISTP) George S. Patton - Artisan Promoter (ESTP)
How To Argue With A Mate
Part 4: Rational Mates
By Dr. Lovegood

The wall between Rationals and others is their view of others' stupidity and incompetence. If a Rational believes that another person is being illogical, irrational, or just plain stupid, they will not respond positively to anything they have to say. The fastest way to get a Rational to stop communicating meaningfully is to say that they are incompetent or idiotic or to start behaving or talking in a mindless crazy manner.

Overall, Rationals are reasonable and reasoning people. They are willing to discuss just about anything as long as the discussion remains civil and lucid. For Rationals, civil can include yelling matches with each person describing the other's theories as unable to hold up under scrutiny, ill conceived, and just plain wrong. After these raised voiced sessions, Rationals are likely to have respect for their opponent if that opponent can reason cogently.

The easiest way to tell that a conversation with a Rational mate is getting nowhere is if they shut down and refuse to discuss things or very (im)patiently repeat their same logical arguments over and over.

Jessica (Idealist Champion ENFP) and Kwasi (Rational Mastermind INTJ) had only been married a short time when Jessica began to doubt that Kwasi really loved her. When they had been dating, he had been so attentive and always happy to see her. After they got married, he became more likely to be annoyed when she "interrupted" him. One time while he was at the computer, she came dancing in wearing nothing but high heels. He looked briefly at her and asked her to wait 5 minutes. They began having fights over whether he really loved her. He would point out the logical reasons he loved her and couldn't understand what her problem was. But Jessica wanted to be loved illogically. After learning about their personality types, Kwasi learned what he could do to regularly reaffirm their relationship. Jessica learned how to recognize the more subtle signs of Kwasi's love. He learned how to express appreciation for her uniqueness and openness, and she realized that he really did love her.

If a person with a Rational partner hits that wall, there are a couple of things to do. The first is to allow time for both partners to calm down. The non-Rational partner should see how they can frame their issue in a logical manner which their partner can understand. Rationals can argue so specifically and technically on a particular issue that they miss the big picture. They can also argue so globally that they miss the particulars. Whenever possible, tie your argument onto theirs. Show how what you are wanting is consistent with their theories and beliefs. Rationals are also willing to bargain, trading one favor for another. There is a logic to doing something illogical if it makes it more likely that the Rational will get something they want.


Temperament and Love

The Dating Scene
First Date
Temperamental Love
Do Opposites Attract?
Birds of a Feather
Complementary Pairs (1)
Complementary Pairs (2)

Women and Romance
Men and Romance
Marrying the Mirror
That Lovin' Feeling
Care and Feeding
How You Annoy Your Partner
Fair Fighting (1)
Fair Fighting (2)
How to Argue With A...
Guardian Mate *
Artisan Mate *
Idealist Mate *
Rational Mate *
Temperamental Parenting
My Funny Valentine

Four Ways to Leave Your...

Returning Users | Terms and Conditions | Content and Privacy | Corporate and Contacts | Newsletter