Personality Test
George Washington - Guardian Supervisor (ESTJ) Mother Teresa - Guardian Protector (ISFJ) Albert Einstein - Rational Architect (INTP) Margaret Thatcher - Rational Fieldmarshal (ENTJ) Mikhail Gorbachev - Idealist Teacher (ENFJ) Eleanor Roosevelt - Idealist Counselor (INFJ) Elvis Presley - Artisan Performer (ESFP) Jacqueline Onasis - Artisan Composer (ISFP) Dolley Madison - Guardian Provider (ESFJ) Queen Victoria - Guardian Inspector (ISTJ) Walt Disney - Rational Inventor (ENTP) Dwight David Eisenhower - Rational Mastermind (INTJ) Thomas Paine - Idealist Champion (ENFP) Princess Diana - Idealist Healer (INFP) Charles Lindberg - Artisan Crafter (ISTP) George S. Patton - Artisan Promoter (ESTP)
How To Argue With A Mate
Part 2: Artisan Mates
By Dr. Lovegood

For Artisans, the wall you can't argue past is that of their autonomy and freedom to do as they see best. Artisan Composers (ISFP) will also demonstrate a fanatic loyalty to certain people. Artisans are often very flexible, pliable, and easy to get along with until you try to give them a direct order or attack someone important to them. At that point, they can become somewhat like the sleeping cat in your lap who is attacked by another cat - all fangs and claws.

Generally Artisans will work with you on just about anything. They can be very easy going and easy to work with. However, if you try to order them around, a different scenario pops up. At this point, they may ignore you completely, become passive-aggressive, or turn into a rebellious teenager. They especially dislike it if you bring outside sources or people into your arguments to try to get them to comply. (e.g. "all the studies show that...", "_________ from our religious group says you should...")

Laurel (Idealist Teacher ENFJ) had an ongoing argument with Nathan (Artisan Performer ESFP). She never knew what he doing or where he was going or when he'd be home. He was a real estate agent, so his schedule was erratic. Sometimes she called his cell phone, but his cold response left her wondering what to do. She begged him to call her and let her know what was up so she could plan for dinner and the evening. He'd say he'd call, but then he'd forget. Finally they had a big fight and Nathan said he had no intention of being controlled by anyone and that he didn't owe her anything.

Fortunately, Laurel understood that she was engaging in Artisan overstatement for effect. They finally worked out an agreement. Laurel would call Nathan between 4:45 and 5:00 pm for a nightly forecast. They set up what to do if Nathan couldn't or didn't answer. Because Nathan knew he was only going to get one phone call a night, he started looking forward to it. He often answered and gave her information in a different voice or format ("Looking at the stormy meetings gathering in the east, the chance of Nathan being home before 8 is 10%."). He also periodically called her later with updates.

Artisans hate to be nagged. Some Artisans prefer a honey-do list which allows them to decide the order in which to do things. Others like reminders of important events or things to do put on the refrigerator. If a partner finds themselves continually nagging an Artisan mate, they can expect an eventual blow-up or passive resistance.

The way to get around the wall with Artisans is to make sure that you don't attempt to limit their freedom any more than necessary. Getting them to make the decision to do something is the best way but also the most difficult. The next best is getting them to see that there is a problem and then having them help come up with the solution.

 

Temperament and Love

Dating
The Dating Scene
First Date
Temperamental Love
Do Opposites Attract?
Birds of a Feather
Complementary Pairs (1)
Complementary Pairs (2)

Mating
Women and Romance
Men and Romance
Marrying the Mirror
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
That Lovin' Feeling
Care and Feeding
How You Annoy Your Partner
Fair Fighting (1)
Fair Fighting (2)
How to Argue With A...
Guardian Mate *
Artisan Mate *
Idealist Mate *
Rational Mate *
Temperamental Parenting
My Funny Valentine

Separating
Four Ways to Leave Your...
Affairs

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