Personality Test
George Washington - Guardian Supervisor (ESTJ) Mother Teresa - Guardian Protector (ISFJ) Albert Einstein - Rational Architect (INTP) Margaret Thatcher - Rational Fieldmarshal (ENTJ) Mikhail Gorbachev - Idealist Teacher (ENFJ) Eleanor Roosevelt - Idealist Counselor (INFJ) Elvis Presley - Artisan Performer (ESFP) Jacqueline Onasis - Artisan Composer (ISFP) Dolley Madison - Guardian Provider (ESFJ) Queen Victoria - Guardian Inspector (ISTJ) Walt Disney - Rational Inventor (ENTP) Dwight David Eisenhower - Rational Mastermind (INTJ) Thomas Paine - Idealist Champion (ENFP) Princess Diana - Idealist Healer (INFP) Charles Lindberg - Artisan Crafter (ISTP) George S. Patton - Artisan Promoter (ESTP)
How To Argue With A Mate
Part 1: Guardian Mates
By Dr. Lovegood

With each temperament there is a wall which can't be argued past. This wall brings an abrupt end to negotiations and a sense of futility to the other partner. It is important to attempt to avoid the wall whenever possible. With Idealists, it is important to know their values and work your way within and around them. With Guardians, it is important to avoid conflicts in principles. Principles are along the lines of, "I know this is right because it just is: because my religion backs me, history backs me, and/or common sense backs me." It is easy for Guardians to get stuck on a principle and be almost completely unable to see anything other than their currently narrow position. The partner needs to be very imaginative and innovative to find ways to maneuver.

Garth (Artisan Promoter ESTP) and his wife Katelyn (Guardian Protector ISFJ) had a new baby. Katelyn had spent a lot of time reading books on babies and how to raise children. Garth was great with the baby, but Katelyn felt that she was much more knowledgeable. When the baby was 6 months old, Katelyn couldn't get him to go to sleep unless she went through a routine which took up to two hours. Garth told her to let the baby cry it out, something Katelyn thought was cruel. Besides, the books she read said babies couldn't be held too much. Garth finally asked if she'd be willing to try an experiment. He'd put the baby down and go in every ten minutes to pat him until he fell asleep. He asked her to try it for three days. The first night, Katelyn went to her mom's, and Garth called her every ten minutes. The baby cried for an hour. The next night, the baby cried for 20 minutes, and the third night he cried 5 minutes. After that, he seldom cried. Katelyn agreed to the experiment because it was limited to only three days, Garth was willing to do it, and he was also willing to make sure the baby didn't feel abandoned, something Katelyn really didn't want. Katelyn's wall was her belief that she knew best on parenting and that it was cruel to let a baby cry.

Often proposing a trial or experiment can be a good way of helping the Guardian let go of their principle temporarily. It gives them a sense of control because the time period is limited and they get to go back to their principle if the trial is unsuccessful. The down side is that you get at most two tries at this one for any particular issue.

Another technique to getting past the wall is to find someone or some source your Guardian partner admires who agrees with you. This one takes time as the Guardian will need time to absorb the new information. If you are arguing about religious beliefs, you will want to spend a fair amount of time showing how much you do agree with them before turning to look at the area of disagreement. Otherwise, in fear, they may attempt to force you back into the fold. Then your whole argument gets lost.


Temperament and Love

The Dating Scene
First Date
Temperamental Love
Do Opposites Attract?
Birds of a Feather
Complementary Pairs (1)
Complementary Pairs (2)

Women and Romance
Men and Romance
Marrying the Mirror
That Lovin' Feeling
Care and Feeding
How You Annoy Your Partner
Fair Fighting (1)
Fair Fighting (2)
How to Argue With A...
Guardian Mate *
Artisan Mate *
Idealist Mate *
Rational Mate *
Temperamental Parenting
My Funny Valentine

Four Ways to Leave Your...

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