Personality Test
George Washington - Guardian Supervisor (ESTJ) Mother Teresa - Guardian Protector (ISFJ) Albert Einstein - Rational Architect (INTP) Margaret Thatcher - Rational Fieldmarshal (ENTJ) Mikhail Gorbachev - Idealist Teacher (ENFJ) Eleanor Roosevelt - Idealist Counselor (INFJ) Elvis Presley - Artisan Performer (ESFP) Jacqueline Onasis - Artisan Composer (ISFP) Dolley Madison - Guardian Provider (ESFJ) Queen Victoria - Guardian Inspector (ISTJ) Walt Disney - Rational Inventor (ENTP) Dwight David Eisenhower - Rational Mastermind (INTJ) Thomas Paine - Idealist Champion (ENFP) Princess Diana - Idealist Healer (INFP) Charles Lindberg - Artisan Crafter (ISTP) George S. Patton - Artisan Promoter (ESTP)
Tips on Fair Fighting between the Temperaments
Part 2 of 2
By Dr. Lovegood

This article continues looking at the six combinations of temperaments, Rationals and Artisans, Guardians and Idealists, and Artisans and Idealists.

Rational-Artisan pairings combine long and short term pragmatism. They combine the strategic and timeless with the tactical and here and now. Artisans can help their Rational partners spend time enjoying the present while Rationals can help Artisans consider long term as well as short term factors. When these couples fight, they are likely to accuse each other of being too theoretical, impractical, short-sighted, and unable to stay on topic.

Trenton (Rational Mastermind INTJ) and Kirsty (Artisan Composer (ISFP) seldom argue. They tend to be fairly quiet and give each other a lot of space. Lately, that space has gotten too big for Kirsty. She'd like a bit more time spent together. When she told Trenton that, he became impatient. He doesn't want to have to take the time or energy to put something new into his schedule. Needless to say, Kirsty felt hurt. However, she approached this from another angle and talked to him about his need for physical exercise in order to keep the blood pumping to his brain. Now they meet twice a week to play basketball. Once it became a habit, Trenton had no problem remembering their date.

Guardian-Idealist pairings combine a cultural social focus with an individualized social focus. They combine the past and time honored traditions with the future and new visions for change. Guardians can help their Idealist partners by providing a grounding in the real world while Idealists can help Guardians see beyond what is and always has been. When these couples fight, they are likely to accuse each other of being judgmental, obeying the letter instead of the spirit of the law, being flaky, and being unrealistic.

Brandon (Idealist Counselor INFJ) and Perla (Guardian Inspector ISTJ) found themselves regularly arguing about how to discipline their teenage son. Brandon felt that Perla was way too harsh and judged before listening to their son's explanations. Perla felt Brandon was undermining her and letting the boy talk his way out of almost every punishment. Brandon agreed that he had been undermining her. They talked and agreed to handle the discipline together. They occasionally played good cop/bad cop. Eventually they got so good at it, Brandon and Perla would sometimes change roles. This helped Brandon understand Perla's Guardian point of view better and allowed Perla to occasionally be the good guy. They are both much happier about the discipline of their son, and their son's behavior has improved since his parents became a united front.

Artisan-Idealist pairings combine a shrewd sense of people's motives with an idealistic sense of people's potential. They combine new possibilities now and in the future. Artisans can help their Idealist partners enjoy the here and now in their push for the future. Idealists can help their Artisan partners imagine and reach dreams. When these couples fight, they are likely to accuse each other of being na´ve, too trusting, cynical, and lacking vision.

Max (Artisan Crafter ISTP) and Toni (Idealist Healer INFP) have their biggest arguments over Toni's big heart. Whenever she comes across someone who needs a leg up, she wants to give it to them. She's brought all kinds of interesting strays home. Max's problem is that she doesn't seem to be able to distinguish between people who really need help and people who are users. Some of the people she deals with are downright scary. Over time and after several unpleasant incidents, Toni has learned that Max often has a more realistic view of people. He always gets veto rights over who she deals with since she trusts him to take care of her. Max has found that Toni gets a certain gut feeling that tells her a particular person is safe even though Max doesn't think so. He's learned to defer to her gut while still keeping a close lookout in case she's wrong this time.

Previous Page

Temperament and Love

The Dating Scene
First Date
Temperamental Love
Do Opposites Attract?
Birds of a Feather
Complementary Pairs (1)
Complementary Pairs (2)

Women and Romance
Men and Romance
Marrying the Mirror
That Lovin' Feeling
Care and Feeding
How You Annoy Your Partner
Fair Fighting (1)
Fair Fighting (2)
How to Argue With A...
Communication & Understanding
Temperamental Parenting
My Funny Valentine

Four Ways to Leave Your...

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