Personality Test
George Washington - Guardian Supervisor (ESTJ) Mother Teresa - Guardian Protector (ISFJ) Albert Einstein - Rational Architect (INTP) Margaret Thatcher - Rational Fieldmarshal (ENTJ) Mikhail Gorbachev - Idealist Teacher (ENFJ) Eleanor Roosevelt - Idealist Counselor (INFJ) Elvis Presley - Artisan Performer (ESFP) Jacqueline Onasis - Artisan Composer (ISFP) Dolley Madison - Guardian Provider (ESFJ) Queen Victoria - Guardian Inspector (ISTJ) Walt Disney - Rational Inventor (ENTP) Dwight David Eisenhower - Rational Mastermind (INTJ) Thomas Paine - Idealist Champion (ENFP) Princess Diana - Idealist Healer (INFP) Charles Lindberg - Artisan Crafter (ISTP) George S. Patton - Artisan Promoter (ESTP)
Care and Feeding of a Mate
Part 4: Rational Mates
By Dr. Lovegood

Rational men aren't particularly interested in typical gender roles. Their masculinity is not threatened by a partner who does yard work, car repairs, or extreme sports. Often women find it hard to communicate their wants to their Rational mates. The key is direct, calm statements. Rational men are often oblivious to hints, and both of you will be happier if you communicate in plain English.

Like Rational men, Rational women are often perfectly happy playing the hard-charging corporate player to their mate's more domestic lifestyle. Because women are socialized differently from men, Rational women are much more likely than their male counterparts to catch hints and indirect communication. However, they still prefer clear statements.

Rationals tend to be the easiest on upkeep. Their wants tend to be few, and they generally place few demands on their mates. In fact, one of the biggest complaints about Rationals is that they are too independent and at times seem to neither want nor need anyone else. At times, most mates of Rationals wonder why the Rational wanted a relationship at all.

Sometimes Rationals can seem so self-reliant that a mate can wonder if they really have anything to offer. This tends to occur when the Rational is afraid of being openly vulnerable. They can maintain a façade of autonomy to hide how they really feel. However, they usually enter relationships precisely because they really do need other people.

The key to keeping your Rational happy is to provide support and a listening ear while not demanding too much. Offering shared activities including sports, sex, music and the like are also likely to be appreciated.

One thing virtually all Rationals need is time. They need uninterrupted time to work on whatever project has caught their mental eye. It is not uncommon for them to work until they drop, get a few hours of shut-eye, and then get up and keep working. This can go on for days, with the Rational surfacing periodically for food and family activities. During this time, they are likely to appreciate someone to bounce a few ideas off of. The best way a mate can help is to listen, keep them from being interrupted, and remind them of important commitments coming up.

An important thing to remember is that most Rationals are disgusted by emotional outbursts. A mate who cries, pleads, begs, yells, and throws things is very likely to cause the Rational to withdraw even more. A Rational can talk about almost anything if it is discussed in a logical, emotionally neutral way.

Another thing Rationals need is someone to listen and respond intelligently to them. This can be difficult if they are talking way beyond you. Ask questions so you can understand the background of what they're talking about. Sometimes they forget that the other person doesn't have all of the background knowledge that they do. Sometimes they may discuss things which turn out to be difficulties in relating to other people. This has to be handled very delicately. You can give opinions in a calm way but not judgments.

The bottom line with Rationals is to give them a lot of autonomy and intelligent conversation. Remember that they really do need you. Support your mate and they'll give you mental stimulation, freedom, and visions of the future.


Temperament and Love

The Dating Scene
First Date
Temperamental Love
Do Opposites Attract?
Birds of a Feather
Complementary Pairs (1)
Complementary Pairs (2)

Women and Romance
Men and Romance
Marrying the Mirror
That Lovin' Feeling
Care and Feeding
Guardian Mates *
Artisan Mates *
Idealist Mates *
Rational Mates *
How You Annoy Your Partner
Fair Fighting (1)
Fair Fighting (2)
How to Argue With A...
Temperamental Parenting
My Funny Valentine

Four Ways to Leave Your...

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