Personality Test
George Washington - Guardian Supervisor (ESTJ) Mother Teresa - Guardian Protector (ISFJ) Albert Einstein - Rational Architect (INTP) Margaret Thatcher - Rational Fieldmarshal (ENTJ) Mikhail Gorbachev - Idealist Teacher (ENFJ) Eleanor Roosevelt - Idealist Counselor (INFJ) Elvis Presley - Artisan Performer (ESFP) Jacqueline Onasis - Artisan Composer (ISFP) Dolley Madison - Guardian Provider (ESFJ) Queen Victoria - Guardian Inspector (ISTJ) Walt Disney - Rational Inventor (ENTP) Dwight David Eisenhower - Rational Mastermind (INTJ) Thomas Paine - Idealist Champion (ENFP) Princess Diana - Idealist Healer (INFP) Charles Lindberg - Artisan Crafter (ISTP) George S. Patton - Artisan Promoter (ESTP)
Care and Feeding of a Mate
Part 1: Guardian Mates
By Dr. Lovegood

Romance tends to start off with a bang. We've got all kinds of love hormones coursing through our veins which create one of the biggest highs possible. These hormones last for about one year (or less). After that, the romance is generally over unless the two people have been building a relationship. Romance is easy, but relationship is hard. Even though he/she seemed perfect (or close enough) at the beginning, you eventually discover that your partner has a number of flaws which are really annoying. Rather than pitch your lover and start over, consider these tips on maintaining relationships. Love needs to be actively nourished or it will fade away.

Guardian men are often very traditional in terms of gender roles. They tend to be happiest when they do most of the wage earning and their partner does most of the home making. While most are sensible enough not to expect obedience, they do still expect loyalty and respect. It is very important to avoid shaming them in public by talking down about them, making a scene, or cutting them down.

Guardian women are likely to be looking for a man they can depend on to be there for them when the going gets rough. Like Guardian men, they are likely to be happiest when they are doing more of the home making and their partner is doing more of the wage earning. Most Guardian women enjoy being treated as a rare and fragile object even when they are very tough-minded and ambitious in their careers. Do not embarrass them in public by showing any sort of romantic interest in another woman.

When talking with your mate, keep these things in mind. While you may be simply giving information, Guardians sometimes view that as challenging their knowledge or authority. When they feel intimidated or pushed, they are likely to simply shut down dialogue by saying no to every idea you have. Back off and wait. They are likely to come up with a way to do that something they said was impossible.

Do not expect them to be particularly flexible or able to take on a new activity easily. Guardians tend to plan extensively. If you come home and say, "Let's go to San Francisco for the weekend!" you are likely to get a whole list of prior obligations. This may not mean that they don't want to go, rather that they want to honor their commitments. Often, if you give them a day and don't push, you'll find that they have miraculously cleared their calendar. Don't be fooled. That calendar clearing took hours. While Guardians do like to play, they want to pencil it into their schedule first.

To keep your Guardian happy, upset their routines as little as possible. They can and do change, but they need a lot of lead time to do so. Also, most Guardians will actually change more efficiently without a deadline which can send them over the edge into anxiety or rage. Whenever feasible, follow their rules on the "right" way to: squeeze the toothpaste, stack dishes, brake the car, and tend to stains on clothing. If the two of you can't reach a compromise, it may be better to have two separate toothpastes or drive separately or whatever else is necessary to keep the two of you from getting on each other's nerves. Sometimes that involves doing chores outside of your mate's presence so your way of doing things doesn't precipitate an argument.

A common area of mismatch with a Guardian partner is in the area of money since Guardians tend to be much more fiscally conservative than other types. Guardians tend to feel that they spend their money only on things that are good for the whole family while their partner spends money only on their own personal pleasure. The problem is that, even if you gave them $5000 that didn't come out of the budget, they are unlikely to spend it on themselves. All of a sudden, they will realize that Tommy needs a new jacket, the recliner needs replacing, and a whole host of other money sucking things. This can take delicate negotiation. One thing that may help if you can afford it is to give your Guardian mate gift certificates to things they'd never buy for themselves, such as spa treatments, personal trainer, bookstore gift card, and so on.

The bottom line with Guardians is to expect to be the flexible one. Avoid upsetting their apple carts, and you are likely to have a mate who works hard to take care of you and make you happy.


Temperament and Love

The Dating Scene
First Date
Temperamental Love
Do Opposites Attract?
Birds of a Feather
Complementary Pairs (1)
Complementary Pairs (2)

Women and Romance
Men and Romance
Marrying the Mirror
That Lovin' Feeling
Care and Feeding
Guardian Mates *
Artisan Mates *
Idealist Mates *
Rational Mates *
How You Annoy Your Partner
Fair Fighting (1)
Fair Fighting (2)
How to Argue With A...
Temperamental Parenting
My Funny Valentine

Four Ways to Leave Your...

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