"Our relationship would be so much better if only she was more like me..." How many times have you heard this sad lament from a friend or relative bemoaning their current (usually temporary) relationship woes? "We would be so much happier if he understood me better - he'd know just what to do or say without needing to be told...", are grumblings we've often overheard. In other words, people are saying a partner just like them would effectively read their mind and be the perfect mate.

Not only doesn't that happen, if it did most people would be bored and lose interest in the partner fairly early in the relationship.

Most of us end up in a relationship with a partner of a different temperament than ourselves. This is due both to statistics (even though Guardians are the most prevalent temperament, they still make up less than half the population), and to our own temperament - we often look for people that bring new interests and excitement to our lives, and this means people that approach life differently than ourselves. As a Guardian, your partner may be another Guardian, but odds are they are an Artisan, Idealist, or a Rational. Here are a few pointers on taking the differences between you and your partner into account, and making the most of them in your quest for relationship bliss.

Artisans can be the most complementary of the other temperaments to Guardians. Guardians are often initially drawn to Artisans because of their zest for life, their cool in crisis, and their easy acceptance of many different kinds of people. Artisans can be drawn to Guardians because of their planning ahead, their organization, and their hard work on behalf of those they love. If your partner is an Artisan:

• Remember to lighten up, and don't always be so serious. Artisans live for the day - Carpe diem! Planner that you are, plan for some spontaneity. Your partner doesn't have to know that its on your list - just don't let on, and act as if you're in the moment.
• You are much more concerned about saving for a rainy day than they are - if fact your partner may not even have a concept of future rainy days. So set some money aside for frivolity, or for an extravagance, and then pretend that you are really enjoying it! As long as you feel comfortable with your "rainy day fund", enjoy it when they splurge and buy you something "you really didn't need", and remember to return the splurge when they least expect it.
• Get used to not being on time everywhere you go together - this is one of the classic conflicts with Guardian / Artisan pairs. You abhor being late, and they're not even aware of it. If it is truly critical that you be somewhere at a certain time, then it's usually more practical to just go separately.

Idealists and Guardians often make good pairs. Guardians may appreciate the Idealists' sensitivity for others and their deep interest in their partner's success. Idealists can appreciate the Guardians' practicality and ability to deal with day-to-day matters that may interrupt the Idealists' dreams for the future. Idealists give a lot to romantic relationships but they can also feel like they are "high maintenance" to the practical and down-to-earth Guardian. If your partner is an Idealist:

• Learn to give your partner your full and undivided attention, so that they feel that you are truly listening to them. What they value most highly is true understanding and empathy. This means that when they are telling you their troubles, you will best help them by listening, and stifling your urge to give them your practical Guardian solution, unless they ask for it. They really aren't looking for that solution, but for nurturing and emotional support.
• Personalized gifts are most meaningful to your Idealist partner. Unlike the Artisans, who favor extravagance, with Idealists it really is "the thought that counts". The more you can give gifts that have special meaning to your partner, the more they will be appreciated.
• The most romantic thing you can do with your Idealist partner is to share your and his/her dreams. This is an area practical Guardians don't often spend a lot of time in, so it will take some practice. But truly sharing each other's souls is the intimacy Idealists yearn for.

Rationals are the most opposite temperament to Guardians. While you are concrete in your communication and cooperative in action, Rationals talk of abstract ideas, and are unconcerned with rules, traditions, or conventions in pursuing "what works". Long term, your Rational partner requires the most flexibility on your part, if you are to be happy together. (To be fair, they get the same advice). If you partner is a Rational:

• Get comfortable with their "need" to question authority. To a Rational, a rule is a guideline, may be outmoded, and is therefore open to question. Rationals respect one thing above all else: competence. They are always looking for a better way to do anything (that they care about), so you will need to get used to them not following rules, procedures, or authorities that they find to be obsolete, unnecessarily restrictive, or incompetent.
• Unlike the Artisans, Rationals will usually appreciate your ability to plan and save ahead for that rainy day. In fact, because Rationals' weakest suit is logistics, the more you take care of planning and details, the better. Use the "splurge fund" you would set up for an Artisan partner to buy your partner books and the latest tech gadgets.
• Help your Rational partner to be romantic. Of all the temperaments, they are the least sentimental, so marking important dates (such as birthdays, anniversaries, etc) on calendars where they will not miss them will help keep them from letting you down on these occasions. Even though it is often hidden, Rationals do have a romantic streak - they just need your help uncovering it.

If your partner really were just like you, life would be very boring indeed. So, celebrate the differences that add spice, understand the ones that would otherwise frustrate you, and let your relationship thrive. Vive la difference!