The Dating Scene
Vignette 15: Dimitri, a Rational Fieldmarshal (ENTJ)
By Dr. Lovegood
Dimitri is a 33 year old Rational Fieldmarshal (ENTJ). He works as a hospital administrator. He has a vision for the
hospital and works on bringing that vision about, from donations, funding, supplies, personnel, and so on. He is a large
man, both tall and well-muscled. Sometimes he has found that his appearance combined with his intensity can get him what
he needs. He doesn't hesitate to use what he can to meet his vision.
Dimitri has had a check-list for his life. There are certain things he wanted to accomplish before getting married.
He's done all of them, so he wants to find a wife. He hasn't been very successful so far. That has puzzled him since he
is decent looking, has a good job, and is a good conversationalist. He wants to be able to check off getting married.
He decided to analyze his recent relationships to see if he can find any patterns. He realized that they have fallen
into two rough categories. The first category is a non-relationship. In this case, he dates a woman two or three times.
He's fascinated by her, but after the second or third date, she tells him that she's not ready for a long term relationship
or something similar. The second category is a brief flame relationship. He meets a woman, falls madly in love, they make
plans to get married, and then he wakes up. He realizes that she really is totally unsuitable.
After examining the first kind of relationship, Dimitri is thinking that he may be coming across too strongly. Perhaps
the women are backing off because they are feeling pressured. In the second kind of relationship, he realizes that he may
be so interested in completing the process of getting married that he is committing before he really knows the woman and
has taken a realistic look at her.
Since Dimitri has evaluated his dating and mating habits, he can see that he needs to slow down. It wouldn't be a
horrible tragedy if it took a few more years for him to get married. There isn't any good reason to try to rush to a
conclusion. He has decided that he needs to spend more time getting to know women without making a decision about them
as potential wives.
Since he made that decision, Dimitri has noticed a change in his relationships. He's had dates with a couple of women.
He's dated them about a dozen times apiece and then they've made a mutual decision to part. He's gained two friends, and one
of them has told him she'd like to set him up with a friend of hers because she thinks they would probably get along well.
Do you have advice for Dimitri? Do you know or are you a Rational Fieldmarshal and can you give information about how other
Fieldmarshals have dealt with the dating game?