The Dating Scene
Vignette 3: Luis, a Guardian Provider (ESFJ)
By Dr. Lovegood
Luis is a 24 year old Guardian Provider, ESFJ. He goes by Louis to non-Hispanics and Luis to others
(pronounced Loo-WEESE). He recently graduated from college with a degree in the liberal arts and has taken a
job as a social worker. It doesn't pay a whole lot, but he likes helping people who want help and catching
people who are abusing the system. He is bilingual in Spanish, which is a huge advantage in his job. Most of
the other social workers speak only English, so he has status even though he's one of the newest hires.
Luis' problem is that his relationship with, Patty, his girlfriend of a year has gone sour. He'd break up
with her, but he can't stand the idea of not having a girlfriend. He's always gotten a new girlfriend before
he's broken up with the old one. That has meant that he has had to hide his current girlfriend or else date
women who don't mind that he already has a girlfriend. This has created some sticky situations. He knows that
Patty has been cheating on him. Luis has confronted her and she has flatly denied it even though he has proof.
The other man is an older "sugar daddy". Luis figures she wants the goodies the older man gives her along with Luis.
Luis is interested in Adriana, who is a close friend of one of his cousins. He's asked her out, but she knows
about his current girlfriend and won't go out with him. He's explained that Patty is unfaithful, but Adriana says
she won't date a man who's already in a relationship even if the relationship is dead. On top of that, she seems
so repulsed by his asking that he wonders if she'd even go out with him if he did break up with Patty.
Everything Luis has learned about Adriana from his cousin has been favorable. She seems like the ideal woman
for him. She's very family oriented like Luis. She's funny, loyal, and kind. Adriana works as an interior decorator,
but she's said she hopes some day to have children. When she does, she wants to work only part time which fits Luis'
values very well.
Luis decided that he needed to quit panicking just because he didn't have a girlfriend. He broke up with Patty but
didn't tell Adriana (or his cousin). At first, he felt really unbalanced and nervous. He had to do a lot to distract
himself so he didn't try to get back together with Patty or rush out and find the first woman he could. After a
couple of months, he let his cousin know. A couple of weeks later, he asked Adriana out. She agreed.
Do you know or are you a Guardian Provider and can you give information about how other Providers have
dealt with the dating game?