The Dating Scene
Vignette 2: Jayce, a Guardian Inspector (ISTJ)
By Dr. Lovegood
Jayce is a Guardian Inspector, ISTJ. He is 28 years old and works as an auditor at a bank. He often travels to
various branches to make sure that records are being made and stored properly. He has a reputation for thoroughness
Jayce works out regularly to stay in shape. Overall, he has average looks, but his attention to his diet, exercise,
and clothing helps him to come across as above average. He's always been interested in women, but hasn't dated many different
ones. While he's very comfortable around female co-workers, he feels much more awkward around women in social situations.
Also, once he meets a woman he likes, he keeps dating her until he realizes the relationship is impossible or she breaks
up with him. He's not much for casual dating.
Women are more likely to break up with him than he is with them. He's tended to think that's because he's more loyal and
committed than they are, but now he's rethinking that conclusion. Several girlfriends have had the same kinds of comments
as they have explained why they are breaking off the relationship. Jayce figures that since several women are saying the
same thing, there must be some truth to it.
The complaints he's heard the most often include things like that they don't feel accepted by him, they feel like they
never measure up to his expectations, and that they aren't getting the emotional support they'd like. He knows he's not much
for showing feelings openly, so the third comment doesn't really surprise him. It's the first two which do. He's always felt
that he's very accepting and that he has truly loved these women. He's remembered every occasion and even made up some so he
could give them flowers or other gifts. He's called them regularly. So why haven't they felt loved?
After talking again with a couple of his exes, he's realizing that what motivates him isn't what motivates other people.
He likes for people to praise him for his progress and then tell him how to do even better. He's realizing that many other
people take that approach as no praise at all, so he's decided to practice unqualified praise. Jayce has been surprised how
successful this experiment has been with his co-workers. He hadn't realized that they also felt that he looked down on them
Jayce was heartbroken when a particular girlfriend broke up with him. She's stayed in his life as a casual friend because
they have the same circle of friends, but it's really been hard on him. As he's been practicing showing more acceptance and
even more emotional support, she has commented that improved a lot and is more human and less like a robot. He's wondering
if maybe they might be able to try again with her since she commented that a woman would be lucky to get the new and improved
Do you have advice for Jayce? Do you know or are you a Guardian Inspector and can you give information about how other Inspectors
have dealt with the dating game?