(There Must Be) Four Ways to Leave Your Lover
Ending a Relationship Gracefully
By Dr. Lovegood
You believe the relationship is over, finished, kaput. Now how do you tell your partner?
Part of the answer depends on your partner's temperament.
You don't need to be coy, Roy
If your partner is a Rational, they may not even see this coming. Rationals are well
known for completely missing hints, suggestions, and even outright statements of
dissatisfaction. You will need to be very direct. Keep in mind that this may be the
first time your partner has heard you, and they may be willing to do an awful lot to
keep you. Communicate as matter-of-factly and unemotionally as you can. You may find
your relationship is not completely dead.
Hop on the bus, Gus
An Artisan partner is the one most likely to make a scene over breaking up, fighting or
crying and pleading or both. Some will threaten violence to themselves or to you. You will
need to be firmly grounded so you don't get caught up in the game playing they are likely
to do. However, once they are convinced the relationship is really over, they are the most
likely to quickly move along to someone or something new.
Make a new plan, Stan
With Guardians, your approach depends on whether they're Supervisors/Inspectors or
Providers/Protectors. With the first set, they may be caught flat footed with no idea
you were unhappy even though you were sure you'd made yourself very clear. Once you've
got their attention, clearly lay out what the problems are. You may find they are happy
to change if it's that important to you. With the second set (Providers/Protectors), be
prepared for sadness. They are likely to go back and forth between saying that problems
in the relationship are their fault and saying that they're your fault. They may attempt
to guilt you into staying.
Slip out the back, Jack
Idealists may be the most difficult to leave because of their emotionalism. Be as kind as
you can as long as you are certain you are communicating clearly enough. Plan to spend as
much time as you can stand listening to them. Idealists are likely to want to spend a lot
of time reexamining every part of the relationship trying to figure out what went wrong.
Be honest in your responses but try to avoid excessive bluntness. Don't try to soften
things too much, and admit where you were at fault but don't take the blame for their