Tips on Fair Fighting between the Temperaments
Part 2 of 2
By Dr. Lovegood
This article continues looking at the six combinations of temperaments, Rationals and
Artisans, Guardians and Idealists, and Artisans and Idealists.
Rational-Artisan pairings combine long and short term pragmatism. They combine the
strategic and timeless with the tactical and here and now. Artisans can help their Rational
partners spend time enjoying the present while Rationals can help Artisans consider long
term as well as short term factors. When these couples fight, they are likely to accuse
each other of being too theoretical, impractical, short-sighted, and unable to stay on
Trenton (Rational Mastermind INTJ) and Kirsty (Artisan Composer (ISFP) seldom argue.
They tend to be fairly quiet and give each other a lot of space. Lately, that space has
gotten too big for Kirsty. She'd like a bit more time spent together. When she told
Trenton that, he became impatient. He doesn't want to have to take the time or energy to
put something new into his schedule. Needless to say, Kirsty felt hurt. However, she
approached this from another angle and talked to him about his need for physical
exercise in order to keep the blood pumping to his brain. Now they meet twice a
week to play basketball. Once it became a habit, Trenton had no problem remembering
Guardian-Idealist pairings combine a cultural social focus with an individualized
social focus. They combine the past and time honored traditions with the future and new
visions for change. Guardians can help their Idealist partners by providing a grounding
in the real world while Idealists can help Guardians see beyond what is and always has
been. When these couples fight, they are likely to accuse each other of being judgmental,
obeying the letter instead of the spirit of the law, being flaky, and being unrealistic.
Brandon (Idealist Counselor INFJ) and Perla (Guardian Inspector ISTJ) found themselves
regularly arguing about how to discipline their teenage son. Brandon felt that Perla was
way too harsh and judged before listening to their son's explanations. Perla felt Brandon
was undermining her and letting the boy talk his way out of almost every punishment.
Brandon agreed that he had been undermining her. They talked and agreed to handle the
discipline together. They occasionally played good cop/bad cop. Eventually they got so
good at it, Brandon and Perla would sometimes change roles. This helped Brandon
understand Perla's Guardian point of view better and allowed Perla to occasionally
be the good guy. They are both much happier about the discipline of their son, and
their son's behavior has improved since his parents became a united front.
Artisan-Idealist pairings combine a shrewd sense of people's motives with an
idealistic sense of people's potential. They combine new possibilities now and in
the future. Artisans can help their Idealist partners enjoy the here and now in
their push for the future. Idealists can help their Artisan partners imagine and
reach dreams. When these couples fight, they are likely to accuse each other of
being na´ve, too trusting, cynical, and lacking vision.
Max (Artisan Crafter ISTP) and Toni (Idealist Healer INFP) have their biggest
arguments over Toni's big heart. Whenever she comes across someone who needs a leg
up, she wants to give it to them. She's brought all kinds of interesting strays home.
Max's problem is that she doesn't seem to be able to distinguish between people who
really need help and people who are users. Some of the people she deals with are
downright scary. Over time and after several unpleasant incidents, Toni has learned
that Max often has a more realistic view of people. He always gets veto rights over
who she deals with since she trusts him to take care of her. Max has found that Toni
gets a certain gut feeling that tells her a particular person is safe even though
Max doesn't think so. He's learned to defer to her gut while still keeping a close
lookout in case she's wrong this time.