Men and Romance
Part 3: Idealist Men
By Dr. Lovegood
Idealist men find it relatively easy to express tender feelings, sympathize with others, and have female friends. Some even enjoy shopping. Many women find this intensely appealing while others view them as effeminate.
Idealist men are the most likely to provide romantic dates, an empathetic listening
ear, and kindness. Women are likely to appreciate their ability to simply listen without
trying to solve problems although they are likely to need to share the stage with the
Idealist man who also wants to be heard. Along with sensitivity, Idealists are the most
likely type of man to be moody, responding to the moods of those around them.
Tom is a Teacher (ENFJ) Idealist . When he met his wife, he threw himself in front of
her car so he could ask her on a date. He says that he knew the first time they dated that
she was "the one". Almost every day, he leaves her a note about something different he
loves about her. Although both he and his wife work hard to take care of their family
including their four daughters, his wife says that he actually sacrifices more. He's
very protective and fears many things that could harm his girls.
Ian is a Counselor (INFJ) Idealist. He had many female friends in high school, some of
whom were interested in him. He dated a couple but didn't find it very satisfying. In
college, he was convinced he'd found the woman of his dreams. They hit it off right
away and dated for two years before he found out she'd been cheating on him almost
the whole time. She told him she felt trapped because he idealized her so much. Now
he's dating a new woman and is working to view their relationship more realistically.
P.J. is a Champion (ENFP) Idealist. He never lacks for female companionship. Women
seek him out because he's cheerful and believes in them. His tendency has been to have
very intense relationships which burn out quickly. He's decided that it's probably best
to date casually to avoid flash-in-the-pan romances. P.J. figures he'll eventually settle
down and have a family but, for now, he enjoys the experience of femininity in many
Julius is a Healer (INFP) Idealist. In high school, his closest friends were girls.
He and his friends were forever finding a cause, such as a homeless family or students'
rights. They worked hard to right the wrongs they found. His wife says she was drawn to
his activism, his caring for the oppressed and the environment. She jokes that they have
their roles reversed. She says she's logical, stable, and hard-headed while he is romantic,
moody, and compassionate.
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